Ren and stimpy meet hastune miku
by jonnybro123
Summary: Title basically explains the whole freaking fanfiction, so read it if you want to I guess. Its like 4 chapters so I guess I shouldn't expect you to read the entire thing. And just a quick side note, Ren's parts are only written like that cause of how he sounds in the show. please don't expect Shakespeare levels of story telling.
1. The start

It was a clear and crispy Sunday morning at the hoek household, Ren was sitting in his favorite leopard chair as Stimpy was preparing a beautiful Christmas goose for lunch. "Steempy, how much longer ees thees theeng gonna take to cook? I'm wastin away over here chowderhead!" Yelled Ren. "just a second Ren, I still gotta put this thing out of its misery!" Replied stimpy in his usual cheerful tone of voice. A few muffled goose noises could be heard before a brief snapping sound and a flump of feathers flew from the kitchen. "Just nuke the darn thing and get een here, I've been lookin for sometheeng to watch on the boobtube for a full three meenutes now" Ren yelled louder this time to get his point across. "Looks like somebody doesn't want any goooose!" Ren sighed before getting back to his meaningless task of surfing the 4 channels on his prized television. He finally settled on the news channel, a brightly dressed man was ranting about how millennials shouldn't be allowed to eat most fruits. Ren simply sunk deeper into his chair as a big smirk appeared on his face "ah, finally, something a dog like me can really seenk my teeth into…". He turned the volume to the highest setting as the brightly dressed man was quickly escorted off the premises as the real news anchor took the stage. "Sorry about that folks, now, on to our one on one interview with the one… The only… HATSUNE MIKU." "Hatsune mik-who?" questioned Ren to the television. "That's right! World famous pop idol hatsune miku, you may know her from her many popular musical hits!" "Musical heets?, I'm sure if they were that good, I would have heard them before" retorted Ren once again. "oh you know… lIKE THIS ONE!". Horrible, horrible computer fax machine noises filled the air, as Ren stood in silence, listening to the golden voice of hatsune miku intently… "My, that ees good.." Ren closed his eyes and listened intently, as Stimpy ran in with a charred goose in his hands. "For the love of everything that is holy Ren! Turn that racket off and eat some freaking goose!" Stimpy said before chucking said goose into the lap of his dear pal. "shut yer trap, can't you see I'm tryin to watch thees? Ren gave Stimpy a little smack on the forehead before he glued his eyes back to the screen. "Wasn't that something folks, well, let's get to that interview now, shall we? Now , tell us about yourself…" The camera panned to the glorious image of hatsune miku, "konichiwa" she said before Ren quickly turned off the television, his eyes widened. "Dah...something wrong ren?" Stimpy asked. Ren flopped to the ground as his mouth foamed, and began babbling to himself. "hold on buddy, help is on the way!" The panicked stimpy ran toward a bookshelf filled with various meats, he took the only book on the shelf, simply named "the big ol' book of sudden bodily problems" Stimpy began flipping through the book as ren began to vigorously vibrate. After coming to a conclusion, Stimpy closed the book and threw it across the room, and ran up to Ren with unbridled joy. "OH REN! Why didn't you tell me you were in love!" Ren got up from his current fetal position and slapped the smile off of Stimpys big dumb head. "OF COURSE YOU EEMBECILE, that hatsune meeku gal just changed my flippin life!" Ren grabbed Stimpy on what I can assume is his collar and rose him in the air. "Well Ren, what are you gonna do about it then?" "I… NEED… hatsune meeku brand merchandise…" growled Ren, before scurrying up to his master bed room. He began tearing off the wall paper, knocking lamps off of shelves, and just sort of wrecking up the place. "I ain't gonna rest until thees whole room is covered in miku face Steempy!" he bellowed. "will you at least eat the goose I've prepared for you Ren?". Ren hissed, "NOT UNTIL ITS WEARIN PIG TAILS AND SEENGING K-POP". "Than don't you worry your pretty little head Ren, this house will be more hatsune-like than it's ever been before!" Stimpy threw the goose into a nearby umbrella rack, and then threw himself out the front door.


	2. The next part

"It was yet another beautiful morning in the hoek household, as Stimpy returned from yet another excursion for hatsune miku merchandise. You probably couldn't tell, but it's been about a month since Ren began to fill his never ending lust for miku with cheap plastic toys and pillow covers. /span"Oh reeeen, guess what I got?" Stimpy said in a sing-Songy tone of voice "did you get me the hatsune Meeku carrot peeler I so desperately need Steempy?" Replied Ren from his gloriously miku-esque bedroom. "Why of course Ren" Stimpy entered Ren's miku den, which might I say was quite the spread. Hatsune miku wallpaper was spread across the room, along with various posters and pictures that adorned the walls all messy like. Dolls, action figures, and miku statues constructed from sticks and mud were spread across the floor at random intervals. Ren was at the centre of it all, inside a nest made out of miku body pillows. To any sane person, this scene would be a little frightening, but to Ren, it was paradise. "Steempy my good Man , take a good look around, what do you see?" "Gee Ren, I see hatsune miku" "of course you eediot but what don't you see?" "Whaddia mean ren, I thought you got everything! From the official hatsune miku business chair to the hatsune miku industrial deodorant, what more could you want?" Ren got up from his miku throne to yell at stimpy. "What do I need? WHAT DO I NEED? I NEED TO SEE HER YOU NEENCOMPOOP. ANY YAHOO CAN BUY A HIGH QUALITY HATSUNE MIKU BABY CARRIAGE, BUT ONLY THE TRUE FANS SEE HER… een person…" Ren sat down again after realizing the grim reality of what he had just said, sure, he loved the gal, but what did it matter if he couldn't even see her live on stage? "Gee Ren, why didn't you say so before, I wouldn't have had to buy all this crap in the first place" Stimpy said, sitting next to his dear dog friend and patting him on the back. "Eef only there was some way I could see her…" Just than, a moment of pure plot progression occurred, as the news channel on Ren's hatsune miku tv (now in colour!), began reporting something that would totally changed his life. "THATS RIGHT HATSUNE MANIACS, next Saturday, THE hatsune miku will be performing a live concert in her hometown of DETROIT MICHIGAN" Ren's eyes lit up with excitement as he grabbed onto stimpy's head. "How far is Detroit from here Steempy! I NEED to know, love is on the line here Man!" Stimpy put his finger on his chin and thought for a bit… "I'd say it would take about… 4 days,12 hours, 4 minutes and 55 seconds on my prized scooter!" "Well what are we waiting for Knucklehead? The concerts gonna start 3 months from now, WE GOTTA GO." "right behind ya Ren, I'll get the scooter ready and we'll be there in no time!" Stimpy grabbed Ren and neatly tucked him under his arm, once again running out the front door for his dear pal./p


	3. The part after the next part

"Here we are Ren, scenic Detroit! Ooh whaddaya wanna see first?"Stimpy said in a exceptionally squeaky tone of voice, he pulled out a kids place-mat he had gotten from an Arby's and began to study its contents. "Let's see here… We could go see the detroitian glass shard museum, doesn't that sound like a real hoot Ren?" Stimpy looked in front of him, as Ren had been nestled comfortably in the basket in front of stimpy's bright pink scooter. "No man, just keep scooting, we don't have time!" Ren said. He had a look of worry on his face, one of urgency, and emotional constipation. "Well, how about the pyramid of Detroit, or Detroit falls? I hear they make a mean oatmeal around here…" Stimpy continued listing sights, but was soon interrupted by Ren "NO,I already told you clamcase, WE GOTTA MOVE" "But REEEEEEN" Stimpy squealed "there's gotta be something you wanna see!" "I WANNA SEE MEEKU STEEMPY"."Hold your horses Ren, we'll be at the miku Thunderdome in less than a jiffy". For all those too incompetent to know what the hatsune miku Thunderdome is, allow me to explain… Like the name implies, it's a dome built to commemorate hatsune miku for all she has given to us, miku built this place, and miku can tear it down. After a brief time of silence, along with some top notch scootering, Ren and his pal Stimpy were at the Thunderdome and ready to eagerly await the one, the only, hatsune miku! "how much time unteel the show starts?" Pondered Ren to his clueless cat friend. "Well… I'd say… 3 months!" Ren smiled " so now, we wait…". And wait they did, for three months, right next to the ticket booth, withstanding the harsh conditions of Detroit with nothing but the satisfaction of knowing it will all be worth it… But thanks to the power of writing, We can skip to the day of the concert! "Oh boy Steempy, I'm so happy, I'll make sure to send you a postcard when me and my dear sweet Meeku go on our honeymoon." "Sorry bub" said the middle aged weeb behind the pair "but she's gonna have a real hard time coming to your wedding when she's going to MINE." Suddenly, the massive line that had been forming erupted with people gloating about how they're going to steal hatsune miku's heart. Stimpy looked at the angry mob, then Ren, then back at the mob, then Ren again "whatta we gonna do Ren? seems like all these weeabo's wanna marry miku too!" "I'll tell you what we'll do, we're gonna go in there, and be better than all these LOSERS". Ren walked up to the young man working at the ticket booth, "one adult teekit please, and one infant for my friend here". The man looked at Ren and smirked a bit, "can you read the sign? It says no pets allowed!" The man shoved the duo out of the way like it was the best thing he's done all day. A sinking feeling began setting in as Ren began to sob like crazy. Stimpy sat with him on the curb as he consoled him "there there Ren, it's all right…" "EETS NOT ALRIGHT STEEMPY, WHAT PART OF THEESE IS ALRIGHT?" Stimpy patted Ren on the back before getting up, and thinking for a bit. "How about… We sneak in?" Stimpy whispered into ren's ear./span"Sneak een? Why that's crazy enough to work! LET'S DO EET". With a new sense of determination, Ren began looking around for an entrance, until he found a door being guarded by a pretty muscular guard donning a suit and a wig with mikus iconic twin pigtails. "What do we do Steempy?" Ren whispered to Stimpy. "Don't worry your pretty little head Ren, I've got this."Stimpy walked toward the guard and began chatting with him. "Why hello there sir, bea-utiful weather we're having today" "hm...why I guess it is a nice day to-" before the guard could finish his bit of small talk, Stimpy had stabbed the guard 14 times in the chest, he fell with a large thud and totally died. Ren stood their for a second… "whattaya waiting for silly? Let's go!" After getting closer to the door, the duo found that the door had the words "dressing room" engraved in silver. Rens eyes lit up, he looked at Stimpy, who nodded, it seems the time has come for Ren and Stimpy to meet hatsune miku. Ren slicked back his hair, checked his breath, and entered the room. "MEEKU MY DARLING, I LOVE YOU" "konichiwa" miku replied in her monotone voice. Ren began to spill his guts for miku, and by that I mean he wouldn't shut up about how much she meant to him. Meanwhile, Stimpy noticed a little projecter on hatsune miku's dressing room table, and being the dolt he is, he became curious. "Hey Ren, did you know miku was a hologram?" Ren ignored stimpy, and continued to proclaim his love. "Well meeku, what I'm trying to say ees…" Ren began fishing for the plastic ring in his pocket as Stimpy approached hatsune miku. "Weel you marry-" Ren paused his proposal as he finally noticed Stimpy, who stuck his hand into the midsection of hatsune miku. "Hey, look what I can do Ren!" "STEEMPY, WHAT EEN GOD'S TARNATION ARE YOU DOEENG." Yelled Ren, as he watched in horror. "What's wrong Ren?" "You… KEELED HATSUNE MEEKU" "I...killed her?". "Konichiwa" said hatsune miku. Ren began feeling very conflicted about the scene that was Laid out before him, his best friend, sticking his hand through the chest of his fiancée? Sadly, these emotions had to be thrown out the window as a smartly dressed man entered the room. "15 SECONDS TILL YOUR UP " he screeched. Ren panicked as he ran around the room squealing like a pre-cooked goose. "WHADDA WE DO STEEMPY, THOSE WEEB'S CAME TO SEE MEEKU". Stimpy stayed calm, less out of bravery and more out of stupidity, and began to devise a plan, a stupid, stupid plan. "Ren, why don't we BECOME miku?". "Steempy…That's a stupeed plan" replied Ren. "Stupid enough to work?" "YOU BET" Ren said, as he began to don miku's signature outfit. He grabbed the miku wig off of the dead guard's head and plopped it on his, as Stimpy grabbed ren's shoulder. "Can I be part of your miku scam ren?" He Begged "just get underneath me, your legs are just as luxurious as hatsune meeku's" "OH BOY" hollered the brain-dead red cat. Once the costume was complete, Ren strutted out of the room with caution, he was walking into a minefield, one full of angry anime fans.


	4. The last part with the ending in it

"Ren and Stimpy began to walk onto the glittering stage, spotlights paved the area with blinding light as hundreds of disco balls were suspended in the air, all tied together to make one super ball. The comfy light blue seats that were lined around the glorious stage were being occupied by men of all shapes and sizes, and maybe like 4 girls. The 2 kids in a trench coat trick seemed to be fooling the masses as Ren began to sweat nervously. "Pst, Steempy, whadda we do now?""you gotta sing one of miku's songs Ren, this is what you've been training for!".It really wasn't, but Stimpy was right, Ren had listened to every hatsune miku song around, from amoeba blitz to zebra panty raid, this gave Ren hope, he may actually pull this off. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GIVE IT UP FOR… HATSUNE MIKU" blared the speakers as the room filled up with the sounds of applause, there was plenty of hootin' and hollerin' before a few guards had to calm the crowd using special miku brand elephant tranquilizers. The speakers came back to life once again,"FIRST, MIKU WILL BE SINGING HER NEW "NEVER BEFORE SEEN...er…HEARD SINGLE… LOVE POP STAR DREAM PATROL ALPHA". The crowd went ballistic as Ren's face lit up. "Oh boy! A brand new hatsune miku song? I can't wait to hear eet!" " well you better be Ren, cause you're gonna be the one singing it". Ren looked on at his brand new fan base, terrified. "Uh… hey everyone, WHOS READY TO ROCK" Ren said, there was dead silence. "I mean… konichiwa?" The crowd began to shout miku's name, Ren had to start singing, and fast! And as Ren began to sing his little heart out, history was about to be made. "Um… camptown ladies seeng this song, Doo-dah, Doo-dah, Camptown racetrack's five miles long oh, de doo-da day". And so, Ren began to sing the only other song he knew, and as the 14 hour concert droned on, there he was, singing camptown ladies. Stimpy was doing the best he could, as he gracefully bobbed his legs from side to side, kind of like a old timey prospector, this is what we in the industry call, choreography. The audience on the other hand, was in euphoria, as what was really a desperate attempt to not be ravaged by rabid anime enthusiasts seemed to be a lovely tribute to the American way. It was new, it was fresh, and most importantly, it was in ENGLISH. Once the concert was over Ren did a mike drop before raising his arms in triumph, he had preserved the hatsune brand. "Hey Ren" whispered the midsection of miku "whadda we do now that the real miku's sleeping with the fishes?". Ren took a deep breath and replied " I've learned sometheeng today Steempy, why should I be in love with someone I thought was so great when I can do the same theeng on the spot, plus the old meeku's dead… VIVA LA REN". The speakers blared on once again /span"THANKS FOR COMING TODAY EVERYONE, HATSUNE MIKU IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE HER WORLD TOUR WHICH BEGINS...RIGHT NOW". The crowd began to cheer once again at the sudden news drop. "What? I can't do that! I gotta life to leev pall! I've got an announcement for all of you losers too, feel free to find me een my dressing room DEAD!". The wave of fanboys were shocked, as they begged miku to stay on the darn stage. And as ren causally began to leave the building, they began to mourn the lost of their dear sweet pop idol, until they find her alive and well, cause you know, she's a hologram. Once Ren had left the building, he ripped up the miku outfit and threw the wig in a nearby lake. "I'm done weeth thees stupeed obsession, Steempy, take me home". "Aw, are you sure Ren, I hear Billy Ray Cyrus is playing at the old folks home down the road!" Stimpy said in is usual sing-songy tone. "Now there's a musician I can fall een love weeth" "amen to that Ren, amen to that"


End file.
